What We Let Go of in Decluttering Is Not Objects, but Our Emotions and Attachments to the Past
This content is based on Simplified Chinese and has been processed with AI-assisted translation (This article was translated using openai/gpt-5.4). There may be some errors or expression inaccuracies. The original Simplified Chinese version shall prevail for final interpretation.
Some time ago, I came across a question on Zhihu about decluttering[1]. It mentioned how this idea can sometimes bring about a subtle sense of anxiety, and it explored the boundary between objects and emotion.
By coincidence, during the few days I was home for the Lunar New Year, I also took some time to go through many old things I had kept from before.
At first, I only meant to do a simple cleanup. The drawers, cabinets, and things piled up in the corners had not been touched for a long time, and I thought I would sort them out and free up some space. But once I really started going through them, I realized it was not an easy thing to do.
Some things were clearly no longer useful, and yet I still could not bear to throw them away.
There were clothes I had not worn in years, styles that no longer suited me, sizes that no longer fit; notebooks from high school with many blank pages left at the back; and all sorts of little odds and ends that were not useful to keep, but somehow still felt like a waste to discard.
They had just been sitting there quietly. Most of the time I did not think about them, nor did I actually touch them. But the moment I picked one up and was about to clear it out, I would still pause.
At first I thought it was simply because I hated wasting things. Or maybe it was just that ordinary thought: let it stay for now, I might still need it someday.
But as I kept sorting, I gradually felt that it was not entirely that simple.
What people truly find hard to let go of is often not the object itself. Old belongings are more like clues. Following them, you always end up recalling a stretch of time, a specific feeling, or a version of yourself that is no longer quite the same as who you are now. It is as if, as long as the object is still there, the past has not really left; as long as it remains in front of you, that part of life has not fully come to an end.
Thinking about it carefully, what decluttering finally asks us to let go of may not be things, but certain parts of the past.
The object itself may not matter that much. What really makes us hesitate are the memories attached to it, emotions that have not fully passed, and those vague parts of us that still cannot quite make peace with what is over.
What remains in an old piece of clothing may not be the clothing itself, but the period of life in which you once wore it. The reason an old notebook is hard to throw away may not be that what is written inside is so important. More often, it is because it brings back memories from a certain stage of life that still feel dear. It reminds you of who you were then, and of a state of mind you can never quite return to.
There are even things we know we will probably never use again, and yet we still instinctively tell ourselves: keep it for now. Many of those keep it for now moments may simply be ways of postponing the fact that it has already lost its use.
What we are keeping may not be the thing, but the bit of connection between ourselves and the past that we have not fully loosened.
People always seem to be this way. We grow attached to the past, cling to things left unfinished, and even with the things we once hoped for in earnest but never came true, a little unwillingness to let go still remains.
Perhaps another way to understand decluttering is that it is not about throwing something away, but about accepting something.
Accepting that the piece of clothing will never be worn again. Accepting that some phases of life have already passed. Accepting that some people and some things really do belong only to the past. And also accepting that the self who once held clear expectations about so many things, and about the future, has now slowly changed - less sharp, and less certain.
So perhaps the real reason we cannot let go is because we cherish these things. But if you look one layer deeper, it may not be only cherishing. There is also reluctance, regret, and a feeling that does not quite want to admit: this is where it ends.
We tuck those emotions into old belongings, put them away, keep them, and avoid touching them. It is as if we have found a place for them to rest. But over time, dust gathers on things, and emotions grow heavier too.
Looking back now, when people feel tired, it is often not necessarily because the present is truly that hard. It may also be because they have been carrying things that have long since lost their meaning while still trying to move forward.
That is why what truly matters in decluttering is, within that process, seeing again why we have never been able to let go. Some things have already fulfilled their meaning, and some phases really have ended. They accompanied us for part of the road, and that is already enough.
Some things, even when they are no longer by our side, still remain in memory. Some parts of the past, even when we no longer revisit them again and again, do not cease to have existed. Truly letting go may mean not only clearing out the things of the past, but also no longer allowing the past to keep taking up space in the life we are living today.
All of this is easy enough to say. But when it comes to actually throwing something away with your own hands - whether it is an object, an emotion, or an attachment - it is still hard to do it cleanly all at once.
In the end, I did not actually throw away that many things.
The bond between a person and the past is never something that can be severed all at once. Old belongings are only an entry point. By sorting through them, I also ended up seeing the memories, emotions, and attachments that I had never really faced seriously, but that were still sitting quietly in my heart. What we truly let go of is not the object, but our emotions and attachments toward the past.
Changelog
f36e1-docs: 新增文章on